Years ago, in my own therapy, my therapist would end my sessions with: “Victoria, be kind to yourself.” That’s it. Week after week she said this to me.

One day, I was driving down the street berating myself for something or other and I heard her voice like an echo in my head. “Okay”, I thought. “What does this mean? What would being kind to myself mean?”

Before that moment, It had never occurred to me to really take in her words and think about it! For probably three years, I had been shaking my head at the end of my session thinking, “That’s it? I pour my heart out to you, and you tell me to be kind to myself?” Continue reading →

Therapy evolves over time. Healing and lasting change happen in layers.

So many of us come to therapy to solve one issue, thinking: “If I could just change this one thing in my life everything would all be better.” What we don’t realize is that it takes time for the psyche to incorporate change. That isn’t to say that we can’t change certain things about ourselves quickly, but some things, like ingrained habits, are often slow to shift, or have layers that keep showing up.

Our issues, until resolved, keep re-appearing. I often have Continue reading →

Honoring and supporting mothers as they navigate their way through one of life’s most profound transitions.

Here’s the truth: people often talk, with and behave positively, to a pregnant woman – but the conversations suddenly slow once her baby is born. I speak from personal experience.

Before my child was born, I felt a tremendous amount of admiration and support. From constant pre-natal appointments to baby showers and gifts, strangers holding doors for my very pregnant body and cars stopping to let me safely (and slowly) cross the road – I noticed a cultural reverence for pregnant women, and rightly so. A pregnant woman is blessed and beautiful – deserving of love and protection.

But what happens when a pregnant woman transitions to becoming a new mom?

Everything changes. Continue reading →